Hurricane

I can remember the nights I would have said it.  Sometimes, I like to go back to a certain time where my thoughts were just a mess.  Whether it was the night where I was talking to you on the webcam, or the night you called me in November and I had seen it coming far too long to be able to cry.  I had too many nights where I couldn't do anything but look at you longingly, and too much time spent being the man without a job.

I wish I could make it easier for you to love me.

More practical, less just romantic torture.  I know you felt for me, but to love me I made impossible.  I probably did so just because I needed to stretch it to see how much it could take.  Who knows what is worth putting effort into- maybe your holding on is just trying to stop a train by standing on the tracks.

We are the blood of the the abuser, with the microscope on the word unconditional we test it with strain and we don't want someone who just holds on- we don't want someone who will leave.  We want someone who can't help but stand in front of the train.  Someone who will love when it's not easy.  A couple of people who just can't let go in the midst of the hurricane.