Desire is a dark chasm, I need someone who can stand on the edge of it (and not fall in).
This world is losing touch with it's heart, And those who have gained a heart have often sacrificed their brain. Unfortunately, we have been born in a world where certain actions work at achieving our goals and certain actions don't. If everything worked to express how we feel, it would be so much easier to follow your heart, but anyone who has done so has found that following your heart often creates a larger mess than your good intentions would have asked for.
We live bound by reality, action/consequence, birth/death. The first we embrace, the second we try and escape. Those who have opened their heart have found that vulnerability leads to pain. Which is true, but only partially true. Vulnerability only leads to the possibility of pain. We open our hearts, we get stabbed. We throw our pearls before swine, they get trampled. How often does this lead to people keeping their treasures to themselves? Now that we've hidden our hearts, it is our brain that we depend on, this logical mind, where survival comes first and we are lost in desperation of the want to never feel pain again. Don't you live in fear of hurt? True hurt, not like "I work, I get the job done" kind of hurt but the hurt that comes from knowing who you are and seeing it rejected by the ones who you love most. I doubt you've never felt that way, first girlfriend? Disappointed father? Doing your best and just that not being enough, even though cliché tells you it is okay (to do your best), clichés are just words we try to repeat so much we believe them, they aren't what we believe naturally. Our heart is natural, it dictates to us what we think and feel, Not as a product of rational behavior but as a simple reflex. It is a reflex that gets trained, sharpened by mistakes. Like the mouse that gets the electric shock while going for the cheese. Some learn not to try, others learn that they'll have to think about it, learn where the hurt is coming from. You want what you want, figure out how to get it. I agree, if something hurts you while you are doing it, it isn't worth doing. But if you want something bad enough, you'll find a way to get it where the benefit of obtaining is so much greater than the cost.
It's efficiency, it always has been, we follow our hearts to our desires, we use our brains to achieve it efficiently. No part out of balance, no machinery out of whack. Fear doesn't dictate what is worth having, it just dictates how much effort you will put in to get there.
Saturday, October 19, 2013
As it is Written
It's been a long time that I've retreated from this world, a long time that I've wanted more from it. But life it culminates, and the worthlessness that came before comes out of darkness into a newer light. I know abstract is going to be the death of us all, imagination is going to be where we go when we realize just how bad this world has gotten. I'm not going to make any excuses, that is a lie. All you'll see is excuses, but now, all I see is every good reason to leave this dead world to be buried. By it's own dead.
If you've ever had pain, tell me a time when you haven't felt alone?
I tell you, I look at the world as it stands teetering, creaking with the early aging that comes from incompetent building. I suffer because this place is my house. People standing around making due, like that is all life is, and the same people talking to the younger generation like keeping it together is what their life must be about as well. "Maybe that is wisdom," I tell myself, but something inside me screams that it's a lie. This disaster isn't mine, it is an inheritance that none would ever ask for. Twenty Trillion dollars of debt?! Why wouldn't I ask for abstract? For too long life has been about denying the inevitable, for fear of it. The same reason I live in the abstract, for fear of reality. A reality that isn't mine yet is being forced upon me. One thing the abstract has helped me realize, helped me come to terms with. I have wants. I have greater desires than this flimsy social structure could ever allow, lest it come crumbling to the ground under the strength and power of this new spirit.
The abstract has taught me ambition in a world that does not allow for my brand of desire. I now ask of myself how do I make these desires into a reality? I do not believe that it is a waste of a brain to begin imagining, I do believe it is the purpose of dreaming to direct the path of reality, so where shall my reality begin? I will not allow it to be formed on the paths of destruction this world has endured for so long. What if you find yourself asking one day, how far have I come? What have I done? Is this world better because of me?
Will you ask yourself these things or will you take pleasure in knowing that you got your white picket fence, you had your two and a half kids and you suffered your dead end job for your quiet wages and your sense of "accomplishment"? Don't you see what has been left to us? How do you expect us to hide from this decline?
I want this world to collapse on our heads. The suffering of just knowing it is going to happen and the waiting for it to begin has been preparation enough for when it does happen. See, we are the parasites, we left the world on the backs of those with the desire to carry it and we reaped from what they sowed. We contributed nothing because all we see is the cliff that we are coming to. Towers built to fall. We are the doubters who said it couldn't be done, and now that it has been done, all we feel is that it really shouldn't have been done. We're not playing along anymore. Why? I'm going to ask myself that and continue asking myself that for a long time, I don't want to be wrong about this. I believe everything we do is for ourselves, society is now a group of individuals who have lost a common goal. We used to be preparing for our future, now we are just praying our future doesn't come.
I want us to forget ourselves and remember the future. Forgetting ourselves is a must, for too long we have been under the illusion we are serving others by asking the question what is best for our future? but then ruining it by following up with another question, what is best for me now? What does it matter what is best for us now if we aren't building a stable future for later? A future that generations will want to step into and will want to improve.
I see hopelessness, I see no one stopping to acknowledge how hopeless it is. Maybe it would be better to fight until we die, but this society junk, this is not my fight. Society left me to suffer in my pain, society says let the weak die and let the fittest survive. Now has been raised a generation of the weak who are left saying all they can say. "Let society die for it is no longer fit to survive."
I don't want TV's in every house. I don't want to build a world that grows farther from love every day. See, that is one thing we forget. Love is real. It is the most important part of a society. I don't see a society worth loving, I see corruption, I see poison and I see the masses drinking it so that they too may walk in the footsteps of what has been built and taught in our lifetimes. I don't see a future of recovery. I don't see us acknowledging our failures and moving on. I just see failure upon failure making every previous one worse than it was before.
I want to see change based on some solid ground. I want to see a goal of love trying to be reached. I want love to be seen as something substantial, something worth achieving, something needed. I want us to see how dead we are without it. Society showed me long ago that I was worthless, by saving my life for the sole purpose of giving it what it wants, feeding back into the machine. It told me that the only thing that truly matters is what it wants and that I should ignore what I want. Oh yes, because it gives me what it wants doesn't it? A house to be alone in and a TV to forget the mess it has made. We tried as a society to give ourselves more than the earth could sustain. We got the ball rolling but now it has stopped. We produce consumers, war mongers and individuals who's right it is to not conform. We have no goals but our own self interest.
Discipline made this country, they must have had a reason to fight, a reason that is lost on me. To go against the nature of the world. To think that anything that could be built is worth building. To think that everything you can have is worth having. It seems silly to me now, but it was just a mystery to them- the consequences of progress, the inflated ideas it has given us. We are bigger now than the world we built to sustain us. Our dreams of opportunities have exceeded sustainability. Like shooting for the moon without building rockets. Who in this society has the right to get stepped on and who has the privilege to do the climbing? What could we build without first providing a social caste to be the foundation? Jesus told us nothing is better than everything, he told us that we have a life to live without the added pressure of providing for ourselves until we die. We should have listened.
I have this disgust that builds up in my stomach, instead of a filling sensation, considering I'm filled with it, it gives me emptiness... an emptiness that no abundance can satisfy. I'll call my art a purge, you'll call my work no art at all. I'm used to it; being called contention, like a dissident is the only reason this world doesn't work. I am one who walked away though I am certain I am not the one who gave myself the reason to.
If you've ever had pain, tell me a time when you haven't felt alone?
I tell you, I look at the world as it stands teetering, creaking with the early aging that comes from incompetent building. I suffer because this place is my house. People standing around making due, like that is all life is, and the same people talking to the younger generation like keeping it together is what their life must be about as well. "Maybe that is wisdom," I tell myself, but something inside me screams that it's a lie. This disaster isn't mine, it is an inheritance that none would ever ask for. Twenty Trillion dollars of debt?! Why wouldn't I ask for abstract? For too long life has been about denying the inevitable, for fear of it. The same reason I live in the abstract, for fear of reality. A reality that isn't mine yet is being forced upon me. One thing the abstract has helped me realize, helped me come to terms with. I have wants. I have greater desires than this flimsy social structure could ever allow, lest it come crumbling to the ground under the strength and power of this new spirit.
The abstract has taught me ambition in a world that does not allow for my brand of desire. I now ask of myself how do I make these desires into a reality? I do not believe that it is a waste of a brain to begin imagining, I do believe it is the purpose of dreaming to direct the path of reality, so where shall my reality begin? I will not allow it to be formed on the paths of destruction this world has endured for so long. What if you find yourself asking one day, how far have I come? What have I done? Is this world better because of me?
Will you ask yourself these things or will you take pleasure in knowing that you got your white picket fence, you had your two and a half kids and you suffered your dead end job for your quiet wages and your sense of "accomplishment"? Don't you see what has been left to us? How do you expect us to hide from this decline?
I want this world to collapse on our heads. The suffering of just knowing it is going to happen and the waiting for it to begin has been preparation enough for when it does happen. See, we are the parasites, we left the world on the backs of those with the desire to carry it and we reaped from what they sowed. We contributed nothing because all we see is the cliff that we are coming to. Towers built to fall. We are the doubters who said it couldn't be done, and now that it has been done, all we feel is that it really shouldn't have been done. We're not playing along anymore. Why? I'm going to ask myself that and continue asking myself that for a long time, I don't want to be wrong about this. I believe everything we do is for ourselves, society is now a group of individuals who have lost a common goal. We used to be preparing for our future, now we are just praying our future doesn't come.
I want us to forget ourselves and remember the future. Forgetting ourselves is a must, for too long we have been under the illusion we are serving others by asking the question what is best for our future? but then ruining it by following up with another question, what is best for me now? What does it matter what is best for us now if we aren't building a stable future for later? A future that generations will want to step into and will want to improve.
I see hopelessness, I see no one stopping to acknowledge how hopeless it is. Maybe it would be better to fight until we die, but this society junk, this is not my fight. Society left me to suffer in my pain, society says let the weak die and let the fittest survive. Now has been raised a generation of the weak who are left saying all they can say. "Let society die for it is no longer fit to survive."
I don't want TV's in every house. I don't want to build a world that grows farther from love every day. See, that is one thing we forget. Love is real. It is the most important part of a society. I don't see a society worth loving, I see corruption, I see poison and I see the masses drinking it so that they too may walk in the footsteps of what has been built and taught in our lifetimes. I don't see a future of recovery. I don't see us acknowledging our failures and moving on. I just see failure upon failure making every previous one worse than it was before.
I want to see change based on some solid ground. I want to see a goal of love trying to be reached. I want love to be seen as something substantial, something worth achieving, something needed. I want us to see how dead we are without it. Society showed me long ago that I was worthless, by saving my life for the sole purpose of giving it what it wants, feeding back into the machine. It told me that the only thing that truly matters is what it wants and that I should ignore what I want. Oh yes, because it gives me what it wants doesn't it? A house to be alone in and a TV to forget the mess it has made. We tried as a society to give ourselves more than the earth could sustain. We got the ball rolling but now it has stopped. We produce consumers, war mongers and individuals who's right it is to not conform. We have no goals but our own self interest.
Discipline made this country, they must have had a reason to fight, a reason that is lost on me. To go against the nature of the world. To think that anything that could be built is worth building. To think that everything you can have is worth having. It seems silly to me now, but it was just a mystery to them- the consequences of progress, the inflated ideas it has given us. We are bigger now than the world we built to sustain us. Our dreams of opportunities have exceeded sustainability. Like shooting for the moon without building rockets. Who in this society has the right to get stepped on and who has the privilege to do the climbing? What could we build without first providing a social caste to be the foundation? Jesus told us nothing is better than everything, he told us that we have a life to live without the added pressure of providing for ourselves until we die. We should have listened.
I have this disgust that builds up in my stomach, instead of a filling sensation, considering I'm filled with it, it gives me emptiness... an emptiness that no abundance can satisfy. I'll call my art a purge, you'll call my work no art at all. I'm used to it; being called contention, like a dissident is the only reason this world doesn't work. I am one who walked away though I am certain I am not the one who gave myself the reason to.
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