Oh my goodness

It's silly how seriously I take everything. Oh yea, I've been critically hanging on to all that depth- all these thoughts like I'm just a step away from turning them into something meaningful.  Can you understand how painful it's been not loving?  I used to enjoy talking to people.  For some strange reason that I can't figure out again, and I swear that's the deeper reason I've been searching for.  I just wanted to be able to care for something like I thought I was supposed to.  Well, thank God that's not possible! My idea of caring is poisonous... destructive.  Maybe you don't have to search for what is deep, maybe it's just there to be let out.

Weeping at this world.

And then gnashing at the teeth. 

Desperately fighting down

the emptiness that always seems

to lead.